Kooky Starbucks Store, my grandson found this one.

Hello Starbucks Customer Service,

I'm a regular and loyal customer/fan at Princeton/Nassau Street Retail Location, and I want to let you know about a very disturbing trend that I've recently become aware of. First, let me give you some background. I am a staunch fan of your canned 6.5 Fl Oz doubleshot espresso & cream. I come to the princeton branch every day and indulge in one of these excellent beverages. I go up to the fridge display, pluck out an icy cold doubleshot, and go up to the cashier and say, "just one of these puppies, please! ring it up, kind sir." But recently, whenever I am in your store on a tuesday or wednesday, I find that there are no doubleshots to be had! Out of stock! Kaput. So, I inquired with the general manager and it came to light that you only restock every thursday on doubleshots and in my humble opinion, you have grossly miscalculated the amount of doubleshots that should go to your princeton location. They are a wild success, selling out like gang-busters, and from my notes, it seems you only restock about twenty or so each week. Tisk tisk. Please see to it that I dont go through another tuesday/wednesday thoroughly disappointed by this gaping void left by these small but scintillating cans of ice-cold espresso.
Secondly, I see you offer a $25 gift card that I can get customized. The other day, while in the store, I asked an associate barista, "good, kind Senor, is it possible to customize my Starbucks gift card with a photographic image, well it's a private matter, suffice it to say a photo taken in a certain bathhouse circa '77?" And he said that he wasn't sure but thought they only offered clipart to customize said gift cards. Clip art?! What the devil? Anyways, of course, I was in disbelief and wanted to hear the truth straight from the horse's mouth.
Lastly, I am currently writing a novelization of the Lilith Fair '98 Concert and am interested to know whether you plan on reissuing your Lilith Fair '98 Compilation. It would of great value to this rather ambitious project of mine.

Thanks so much for your time.

Yours,

Mrs. Bubba Barinsky